Patent Pending

Having spent the evening attempting to see Morrisey at the London Palladium, I've decided something must be done about tall people, especially tall people that can't keep still but just *have* to talk to each other endlessly throughout the show.

I've been considering the problem for several minutes and I think we have three main solutions:

1. kill them.
2. tie them to their seats.
3. introduce height restictions by row.

Now, I accept that this might be going a bit too far for a civilised society so, as an alternative, I need to commission the design and development of a new product for the concert-going public - portable platforms. Strap on, expandable platform soles that you add to your shoes once you get to the venue and see what the challenge will be to see your band de jour. Patent pending on this brilliant idea so hands off!