Thursday 28 November 2013

Sir Noddy Needs *You*

'Everyday' by SLADE is being used in the Christmas Nexus7 advert and entered the singles chart at No 93 last week. So far this week it has climbed to No 54. Could it possibly get into the top 40? It could if you download it...


Tuesday 26 November 2013

Doctor Who Is Younger Than Me

By now you'll have seen the 50th anniversary episode if you're at all interested in Doctor Who so it must be safe to say a few words. I'm a smidgen older than Doctor Who and I remember him from back in the day. I don't really remember the First Doctor, William Hartnell, but I have, of course been bombarded with his images so it makes it confusing to remember who was my first Doctor.

My first Doctor was really Patrick Troughton with his bad haircut and his penny whistle, followed by Jon Pertwee in his late 60s finery and Tom Baker with his scarf and hat, his big eyes and big smile. I didn't really pay much attention to the '80s Doctors of Peter Davison, Colin Baker or Sylvester McCoy. I consider Tom Baker as *my* Doctor Who. He's the one that sticks in the memory and, besides, he liked jelly babies.

Tom also inherited Jon Pertwee's last companion, Sarah Jane played by Elisabeth Sladen, and she's always been the epitome of the companion to me. Yes, she did running and screaming but she also did thinking and challenging. She also had K9, her robot dog. She's the only one of the Companions who also had their own spin-off series. Sarah Jane also had her own roles in the new series of Doctor Who.

I liked the 50th anniversary episode but didn't believe that was Elizabeth I - no way was that the Virgin Queen. That was a bit silly but, then again, there's usually something a bit silly in a Doctor Who episode. And it was nice that the baddies weren't the Daleks or the Cybermen although they strongly featured. As did Billie Piper as the physical form of the ultimate weapon.

It was nice to have John Hurt enter the pantheon of the Doctors as the War Doctor. He's had so many iconic roles over the years that I wonder what he really thinks of it - just another job or something a little bit special?

It was the last half hour or so that got me into the story, especially when the Doctors arrived en masse in their Tardises to protect Gallifrey and we saw them all... including a cameo of the next Doctor. And then Tom Baker appearing as the curator at the end. That was well daft.

The celebratory evening continued with more Doctor Who shows and more memories and it was lovely to see Alex Kingston, Louise Jameson (Leela the warrior woman) and Bernard Cribbens (who links original Doctor Who with the modern version). We also saw Peter Davison, Sylvester MacCoy and Colin Baker, all Who's of their times, as well as a host of others. The link to One Direction in Los Angeles was just painful but, I suppose, inevitable. Sadly.

Here's to the next 50 years!

March! March! March! Across Red Square!

One year ago tonight I was at the Royal Albert Hall giving it up for the glory that is The Human League. They tamed that barn of a place and gave us love and adventures with Phil, Susan and Joanne being lovely as ever. I blogged about the gig at the time with some photos that came out as not bad since the stage lighting was superb. I went so far as to say it was the best gig I'd seen at the Royal Albert Hall and I still think that.

Here's 'The Things That Dreams Are Made Of' with synchronised clapping and name-checking The Ramones in the chorus. A great song!



Come back soon!

Monday 25 November 2013

Poly Styrene Videos From 1983

I looked at the 'Poly Styrene RIP (A Tribute Page)' on Facebook this evening and saw that a video had been posted for 'Prayer For Peace' by Poly Styrene in 1983. Now, I'm familiar with 'Prayer For Peace' from the 1995 X-Ray Spex album 'Conscious Consumer' but a 1983 version was new to me. So I clicked play ... and then went 'WOW!'

Poly is dancing round the garden of what I assume is the Krishna consciousness estate donated by George Harrison singing 'Prayer For Peace'. All sorts of religions are represented in the video. And here she is...



Further browsing delivered Poly singing in the Hare Krishna tent at Glastonbury in 1983 with a band, singing 'Trick Of The Witch' that would be released on the 'Gods & Godesses' EP in 1986. It's not the best video but it's great to see that Poly can't stand still on stage, she's got to move.



I (obviously) had no idea that these videos existed and it's great to suddenly find them. It makes me wonder what else might turn up over time. Who knows?

Thanks to krsnaoldschool for posting the videos. 

Kim Wilde - 'Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree'

Kim Wilde has posted the third video from her new album, 'Wilde Winter Songbook', and this time it's a re-make of her Comic Relief hit from 1987 with Mel Smith, 'Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree'. This time it's with her mate Nik Kershaw.

It's a great piss-take of the video of Kim and brother Ricky that surfaced on YouTube last Christmas of the pair of them a bit worse for wear singing 'Kids In America' and 'Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree' on the train home after a Christmas party. The next day when the video had gone viral the pair of them treated it like a great big joke and good on 'em! I think it's great that they return to the scene of their crime and I love that the new version of it on the record begins with the announcement that 'The next station is Potters Bar' like in their escapade last year.

A nice touch, if you watch to the end, is to see that the video is dedicated to the memory of Mel Smith who died earlier this year.



And if you'd like to see the original Comic Relief video then look no further and click below! When was the last time you pulled a cracker?

SLADE In The Singles Chart Again!

Like a pre-Christmas miracle, SLADE are back in the singles chart with 'Everyday' at No. 93 with not even a merry Christmas in sight.

At this time of year SLADE are usually hovering around with the perennial 'Merry Christmas Everybody' that has been in the charts more times than I care to remember. This year it looks like 'Everyday' will be a new Christmas hit for them. 'Everyday' narrates the new advert for the Nexus 7 tablet with a dad away at sea on a merchant ship contacting his family on Christmas Day: "Everyday when I'm away, I'm thinking of you..." sings Sir Noddy. It was a real surprise to hear Noddy singing on telly again, especially singing the overlooked 'Everyday'.

I blogged about this last week when I was wondering if it would be a hit and this week it looks like it could well be. Of course, I don't want to jinx it by saying it will be, but who knows...?

'Everyday' reached No 3 in 1974 with SLADE's first ballad as the follow-up to 'Merry Christmas Everybody'. I've got no idea if the band was relieved or disappointed that it didn't go into the chart at No 1 like three of their singles in 1973 - that's a lot to live up to. And that's when bands had to sell half a million records to get to No 1, not the mere thousands these days. It's from the 'Old, New, Borrowed and Blue' album.

If you want to see the Nexus 7 advert or SLADE singing 'Everyday' on Top of the Pops back on the day, then just scroll a bit further down and enjoy.

There's now a campaign on Facebook asking people to download the song to help it move higher up the chart and, you know what? I think I will download it despite having the song several times on vinyl and CD. It can't hurt. Go on, do the same, eh? 


Tuesday 19 November 2013

Fra Angelico Christmas Cards

I had a few minutes to spare the other day while waiting for a train so I wandered into Paperchase to see whether their Christmas cards were any good this year. While browsing the displays a pack of cards caught my eye and looked a bit familiar so I picked it up for a closer look and lo and behold, a Fra Angelico painting graced the front of the card.

Or rather, four paintings by Fra Angelico to be exact. Four scenes from a panel of nine paintings that were originally part of the doors to a cupboard that held the sacred silverware in the church of Santissima Annunziata in Florence. The panel is now in the museum of San Marco in Florence where I've seen it. The scenes cover the Annunciation, the Nativity, The Adoration of the Magi and the Presentation in the Temple. I looked it up in my handy guide to San Marco.

It's nice to see something on a random card that I've seen in real life.

I now have another challenge. There is not just one card using Fra Angelico paintings, there are two. The other is a painting of an angel, obviously just a detail from a painting, but it's also by Brother Giovanni the Angelic.

This painting looks like it's from one of his many paintings of the Annunciation so I shall have to get out my Big Book of Fra Angelico and track it down. Without seeing more of the painting I don't know if I've seen it - Fra Angelico liked painting Annunciations. The pink and the gold background will help in tracking it down.

I have my mission.

I wonder what Fra Angelico would think about his paintings being on Christmas cards? Back in his day, Christmas cards didn't exist so he wouldn't be familiar with the concept but it does mean that his work goes far and wide to a much bigger audience. Rather than just the rich and powerful or the priests and monks who he painted for, even I can look at his work and marvel. And then send it to other people who will, I hope, look at the paintings and not just see who signed it inside.

Fra Angelico's paintings look pretty safe to us now but, back when he was painting, they were quite radical and used the latest techniques of foreshortening and perspective, new ideas that were more fully explored and mastered by his pupils and later artists. Many of his paintings are meditations and not just pretty pictures. 

Monday 18 November 2013

Kim Wilde - 'New Life' video

Today is Kim Wilde's birthday (18 November) and she's given us a present, the video for 'New Life' from her new album 'Wilde Winter Songbook'. It's a gentle song and a gentle video and it starts off with an ultrasound scan of a baby. Take a look and a listen. It's rather lovely.



Happy birthday Kim!

New Maximo Park Album in 2014

Those scallywags, Maximo Park, have announced their new album today, launched a new video and are giving away one of the tracks for the cost of your email address. They already have mine so I'm happy to give it again to get the download of 'Brain Cells'.

The new record is called 'Too Much Information', includes 11 songs and will be released on 3 February 2014. If you get the deluxe edition you get a bonus CD with a further six songs (naturally, that's the version I'll get). I knew they'd been recording (from Paul's tweets) but didn't realise it was this close to being released. Paul has also tweeted about recording vocals for B-sides so I'm expecting a series of singles from the album. Click on the picture to go to the Maximo's website and details of the pre-order bundles.

'Brain Cells' is the lead song from the album and, especially after the rampant guitars of 'The National Health' isn't what you'd expect at all. Listen to it twice and you'll love it!

'Everyday' - a new Christmas hit for SLADE?

Imagine my surprise at hearing Noddy Holder singing over a new Christmas advert and realising that it wasn't 'Merry Christmas Everybody' or even vaguely Christmassy. It's the new advert for the Nexus 7 and I first saw it on Saturday.

The story is about a dad on a huge merchant ship in the middle of the ocean  who meets his family at Christmas by video over his Nexus 7 device.  And all of this with Sir Noddy and SLADE singing 'Everyday' over the advert. Well done to the ad agency that came up with this inspired choice. Take a look:



Here's SLADE on Top Of The Pops in 1974 performing 'Everyday':

Sunday 17 November 2013

Boy George at Koko 2013

Last Sunday I saw Boy George play at Koko in Camden, one of my least favourite venues. But it was great to see and hear a slimmed down and re-invigorated Boy George in great voice sing his classics and songs from his new album, 'This Is What I Do'. And it is what he does.

We had about two hours from the Boy ranging over the last 30 years but focusing on 2013. Backed by a 7-piece band he sounded excellent and we had songs from Culture Club, his solo music, songs from his latest record and a couple of classic covers. As ever, he was backed by John Themis and Kevan Frost, his writing partners as well as leaders of his band. The addition of a horn section added a whole new texture to enjoy. Bringing on some guest musicians that played on the album made fora crowded stage but enhanced the sound. Which was great.

George opened with a reggae section of 5 or 6 songs from the new album and also gave us reggae-ish versions of 'Do You Really Want To Hurt Me' and 'Karma Chameleon' - he must be so bored of playing those songs endlessly but they're what made him a global star. We also had great versions of 'Church of the Poisoned Mind' and 'Victims' from the Culture Club days.

I liked hearing the new songs which, strangely, sound even better live than on the record. I particularly liked the countrified 'Any Road', the rock of Yoko Ono's 'Death of Samantha' and the great 'Bigger Than War' in which I had to join in the chorus of 'Bigger than the Beatles, the Rolling Stones; Bigger than Elvis... but not Yoko!'. O no, not Yoko.

The two covers were T.Rex's 'Get It On' which he really should record, with chugging guitar forcing it along and great sax, and a less polished but heartfelt 'Starman' by Bowie. George is, indeed, a child of his times, like the rest of us!

I also loved his rock star version of 'Satan's Butterfly Ball' from 'Cheapness & Beauty' and the great 'Bow Down Mister'. I'd tweeted George earlier that day saying I hoped he'd play this so I could chant along for Poly Styrene. He didn't play it at the Queen Elizabeth Hall as part of Yoko's Meltdown festival but he did at Koko, a great big rousing version in which I sang along to 'Hare Krishna, Hare Rama' for Poly. Word perfect, obv.

It was great fun to see George on top form, giving us all what we wanted and enjoying it, laughing and joking with the crowd. Well done, George, let's have more!

'The Light Princess' at The National Theatre

Last Sunday I went to a matinee performance of 'The Light Princess' at the National Theatre and as soon as I saw the stage I knew we'd be in for a visual treat. The stage is bracketed at either end by what look like old theatre boxes, one side in reds and golds and the other in blues and purples and between them is filled with a map on the curtain of the desert country of Lagobel which is rich in gold and on the other side is the martial Sealand. Separating the countries is the green wilderness in which there be dragons. O yes.

The play opens with two of the supporting cast narrating the story to a great animation sequence on the stage illustrating how the princess of Lagobel became light and the prince of Sealand became glum. We then learn that the two countries are at an uneasy peace and the king of Sealand wants to invade Lagobel and seize all the gold (as you would). The princess and prince meet, fall in love separate on bad terms and eventually get back together to live happily ever after although, to give it a modern twist, the princess becomes a marine biologist rather than staying at home in the palace. Good for her.

The story has lots of twists and turns, has a distinctly feminist tone, examines family relationships and finds them wanting and is full of magic and wonder. The princess finds gravity and the prince learns how to smile. It has learned the lessons of 'War Horse' well and features a lovely brave falcon as the prince's friend and an orange mouse with a lump of cheese that lives in the princess's tower. The falcon flying out over the audience and especially when he brings his fellow brightly coloured falcons to try to protect the prince are marvellous sequences. He's called Zepherus, the west wind.

The play is full of special effects and the most spectacular must be the floating princess. She rarely stands on the stage but is continually floating around in a very realistic way and this is mainly due to a troupe of four 'puppeteers' dressed in black who pass her from hand to hand, raise her up on their legs and generally keep her moving and bobbing. Now and then she floats on wires which is equally impressive, pulled down by ribbons tied to wrists and ankles. The princess is never still, even when weighed down with the pomp of being a princes, with her crown and sceptre.

Tori Amos wrote the songs and music that keep the story moving along nicely and the production fits in perfectly with the tone of the songs, a gorgeous, almost baroque, affair.   A modern fairy tale for everyone. Princess Althea was played by Rosalie Craig and Prince Digby by Nick Hendrix and they both gave lovely performances, particularly Rosalie who must have gone through extra hours and weeks of rehearsal to be able to give herself up to the puppeteers with such trust and abandon. I dread to think of the bruises she must have had in rehearsals. I also liked Amy Booth-Steel as the princess's friend and Kane Oliver Parry as the prince's brother. I didn't like King Ignacio of Sealand played by Hal Fowler, a nasty king who killed his wife and shot his son only to be killed himself by Zepherus's brave falcon troop. Hal is Mr Kim Wilde (one of my pop stars of choice) so he better be nicer in real life!

As you might guess, I loved it! A new fairy tale for Christmas (and yes, I know it's based on an old fairy tale). And it's for all the family - the audience was full and full of people from little kids with their parents and grandparents to groups of girls and young women and people well into pensionable age. It had a great reception from everyone - including me. It must have cost a small fortune to stage, what with the special effects for the floating princess and all the scenery and costumes, so I don't think it'll be staged this lavishly very often. That's why I booked more tickets to see it again between Christmas and New Year - the perfect time to see it. I intend to enjoy it while I can!


Well done Tori and well done to everyone for a wondrous production. I'm looking forward to seeing it again!

Thursday 14 November 2013

Slade - 'Live at Koko' DVD

23 months ago I went to see Slade play live at Koko just a week before Christmas 2011. This was Dave and Don's version of Slade, not the originals with Sir Noddy and Jim, but they played those classics songs of yesteryear which was good. The gig was filmed for a DVD and it looks like it's finally being released. And here is the cover.

I blogged about the gig at the time, about singing along to 'Merry Christmas Everybody' a matter or days before Christmas and how the audience was like me apart from the young people. I was disappointed it wasn't released last year - I have no idea why it takes so long - but I'm pleased it's finally coming out. It's available to pre-order on Amazon so it looks like it's really happening.

I know what I want in my Christmas stocking...




Wednesday 13 November 2013

Kim Wilde - 'White Winter Hymnal'

This is the first video to promote Kim's new record, 'Wilde Winter Songbook'. It's a lovely family affair with Kim singing with her dad, Marty Wilde, brother Ricky and his daughter Scarlett. It's quite touching to see Kim and Ricky together over 30 years after they started making music together.

Take a listen and then buy the album - you won't regret it!

Monday 11 November 2013

Kim Wilde - 'Wilde Winter Songbook'

I have broken the Christmas Law of not listening to Christmas music until December. My excuse is that this is Kim Wilde's new album, 'Wilde Winter Songbook', which is now available and, after a long journey home tonight, I deserved it. I'm sure Kim would approve. Nay, she would insist!

There are a few duets (with Nik Kershaw, Rick Astley, her dad Marty Wilde and husband Hal Fowler) and it's a mix of standards and new winter and Christmas songs. It's also great fun, with her own Christmas hit, 'Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree' opening with an announcement that 'the next station is Potters Bar' which is a reference to the video of her last year being slightly tipsy after a Christmas party singing the song with brother Ricky on the train home. Gets a big thumbs up from me!

A couple of the songs are delivered in New York supper club style with the emphasis on Kim's voice as it is in all the songs - but nothing's obvious with Kim. There's no power pop Christmas but it works for me. I think it's the new songs that are my favourites, songs like 'Hope', 'One' and 'New Life' with nothing Christmassy in the titles but they drip Christmas sparkle and magic. All in all it's a fun record, sometimes thoughtful and sometimes cheeky, and very full of the Christmas spirit.

I need to put the record away until December when I can listen to it on rotation but it sounds excellent on one listen. I hope she plays these songs on her Christmas Party tour  before Christmas.

I can't help but think of what Kim wrote in the booklet to her last record ('Snapshots') when she said "[I] wear my Pop Star badge with pride!" She's still a Pop Star to me and I'm looking forward to seeing her play live at Christmas. 

Friday 8 November 2013

Poppy Day

It's that time of year again - the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month commemorates the armistice of the First World War and has come to symbolise all wars and conflicts in the Twentieth Century and beyond. In Britain we have the Cenotaph memorial on the Sunday nearest to the 11th of November at which the Queen, her representatives, senior politicians and military bods, Commonwealth representatives and those of the different branches of the armed forces lay wreaths to commemorate those who have died in past conflicts. It'll be the same this Sunday.

I never used to join in what I used to see - and still do - as a commemoration of our past militarism and Empire, dragging the rest of the world into our little European wars. Amongst all the red poppies sold in support of the British Legion I've never seen the white poppy for conscientious objectors.

I saw this article in The Guardian today by Harry Leslie Smith in which he declares that this is the last year he'll wear a poppy.  Part of me agrees with him. He was there, I wasn't. And then there's another part of me that thinks otherwise.

Even this year, this week, I found it hard to buy a poppy from the sellers at the tube station or from the box of poppies in our work canteen. But I went to the garden of remembrance in the grounds of Westminster Abbey at lunchtime yesterday and strolled among the crowds with cameras all looking for specific names on the little wooden crosses stuck in the sodden ground of the lawns outside the Abbey. I look at the map and then stroll to the little area allocated to the Green Howards and I do that for my Granda.

My Granda's name isn't there - he survived the First World War but his left arm was burned and turned to ashes somewhere in northern France. He lost his arm before he was 20 years old. He lost his brothers and his friends and that's why I go, to represent my old Granda who never said a word about the horrors or the trenches like the rest of his generation. What was so terrible that you can't even speak of it 50 years later? The burdens those old soldiers carried must have been awful.

My Granda lives on through us, his grandchildren and through our children and grandchildren. But memories fade and people are forgotten. They become names rather than people. That's life, I suppose, but that's also a reason why I go to the garden of remembrance. All those young men and women slaughtered before they'd even lived because we'd had an industrial revolution and learned how to kill on an industrial scale. Life was cheap - or at least the lives of the common soldiers on both sides of the conflict.  That was part of the Bolshevik argument in 1917 - why are the working classes fighting each other when the real enemy is the master class? Has anything changed?

I'm wearing a poppy on behalf of my Granda this year but whether I'll wear one next year, who knows?

Tuesday 5 November 2013

Virgin at 40

The National Theatre is 50 this year but Virgin is just 40. It's odd to think of something like Virgin having a birthday and celebrating it - these days it's just another multinational company raking in the money. Ah, but back in the day it meant something.

It started out as a hippy record company and it's the music that's being celebrated. Its first release was 'Tubular Bells' by Mike Oldfield (which I've never heard other than the bits in 'The Omen'). A few more hippy and prog rock releases later and after dipping its toes into reggae, Virgin signed the Sex Pistols and everything changed. It saw the light of punk (or possibly just the money making potential) and suddenly punk records were available all over the place. At around the same time it started to open record shops and I remember the small shop behind Newcastle City Hall that I seem to recall always smelled of patchouli (once a hippy ...).

To celebrate its birthday, Virgin has released a series of triple CDs:

Losing Our Virginity: The First Four Year 1973-1977 - featuring artists like Mike Oldfield, Robert Wyatt, Can, Steve Hillage, Kevin Coyne, Gong and Captain Beefheart.

Never Trust A Hippy: Punk & New Wave 1976-1979 - with the Sex Pistols, X-Ray Spex, Penetration, U-Roy, the Mighty Diamonds, Magazine, the Skids and the Members.

New Gold Dreams: Post Punk & New Romantic 1979-1983 - Public Image Ltd, the Human League, The Ruts, Japan, Simple Minds, Culture Club and Heaven 17.

Methods Of Dance: Electronica & Leftfield 1973-1987 - with Sparks, Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark, Cabaret Voltaire, Public Image Ltd and China Crisis.

Fascinating Rhythms: Sound Systems & Dancefloor - Neneh Cherry, Soul II Soul, Jesus Loves You, Massive Attack, Chemical Brothers and Everything But The Girl.

There's also a sort of 'hits' compilation called 'Virgin Records: 40 Years of Disruptions' with Mike Oldfield, the Pistols, the Spice Girls, Meatloaf, Chemical Brothers and. bringing the collection right up to date, some of the recent hits from people like KT Tunstall and Bastille.

I like the CD sleeves that resemble a 7" single from back in the day with the logo of the time. I'm especially pleased to see two previously unavailable songs from Jane Aire & The Belvederes on the 'Never Trust A Hippy' record - her picture-disc single 'Call Me Every Night' and 'Breaking Down The Walls Of Heartache', from Jane's only album. I will invest in 'Never Trust A Hippy' and 'New Gold Dreams' (obv) and, maybe sample some of the others.

Rita Moreno at the British Film Institute

Last Sunday I was privileged to see the wonderful Rita Moreno in conversation before a screening of 'Summer and Smoke'.

Rita was interviewed by Matthew Sweet and, right up front, she pointed out that she gave long answers, and so she did. She's looking good at 81 and gave very thoughtful and, sometimes, brutally honest, responses that were more like monologues than interview answers. She laughingly told us that all the studios had a 'Rita Moreno kit' that comprised open toed sandals, hooped ear-rings and make-up type Egyptian Number 1. She spoke about being in the Hollywood studio system when the PR department sent their young starlets out to get publicity and, on occasion, put them at risk. She spoke about the casual racism of the time, casting her again and again as the dusky maiden or Latino of easy virtue and about how even after winning an Oscar for 'West Side Story' she didn't do another film for seven years.

We were shown film clips during the talk and my favourite was the rooftop scene from 'West Side Story' with Rita leading the 'America' sequence. After winning the Oscar (and other awards) for the film she said she was offered three other 'gang' films but that was it.  Not quite what you expect really.


There was time for some audience Q&A after the main interview and there were some good questions (including one from David McAlmont who was in the audience). Rita was a delight to listen to, name checking everyone from Gene Kelly to Marlon Brando (I didn't know they had an eight year affair), raising laughter and silence with her reminiscences. 

After a short break it was time for 'Summer And Smoke' a film from 1961 in which Rita had a part. She said a few words at the start - and it obviously isn't one of her favourites - before taking her seat in the row in front of us. It was a poor print of the film  and, unfortunately, a poor film based on a Tennessee Williams play. It seemed to go on and on, trying to build the stunted suffocating atmosphere that features in so much of his work but failing. The age difference between the two leads was unfortunate and so were the relative acting abilities. Still, Rita looked good.


PS: I also learned how to pronounce her name properly. She's Moreno (ren) not Moreeno (reen).

Monday 4 November 2013

Yoko Ono - 'Bad Dancer'

The new video from Yoko Ono Plastic Ono Band for 'Bad Dancer' from the new album has dropped and Yoko is on top form. Give your bum a wiggle to this!

And the only way to make art is to wear a top hat (obv).