Amanda Writes To Robert Smith

If you've looked at this blog before then you'll know I like music. I like all sorts of music, I still buy hard-copy music and I still go to gigs. I still get excited by discovering new music and I am loyal to my heroes. But I haven't always been like that. And that is very much what Amanda Palmer writes about in her latest blog, an open letter to her old hero, Robert Smith of The Cure.

She writes about how she loved Robert in high school, bought all his records and ephemera and wanted to be like him. Then she grew older, started The Dresden Dolls (for which we are all thankful) and lost the true faith, not listening to music anymore and becoming A BAD FAN. Luckily she discovered him again at the Coachella festival she was also playing at, saw the error of her ways and the entered light again. Read her long, looong posting here.

I admire Amanda an awful lot and her new posting simply raises her higher in my estimation. She shares herself with her fans to an extraordinary level and sometimes I read her blogs cold, sometimes I can't help chuckling and sometimes she moves me because I know exactly what she's talking about. And I mean *exactly*.

My first ever 7" single was 'Lola' by The Kinks (backed with 'Berkerley Mews') at Christmas 1970 and my first long player was a best of by The Seekers. I collected and loved hundreds of records through the 1970s, some travelling with me to university and then my move to London. But I then got wrapped up in 'real' life, the need for a job, for a roof over my head and clothes, food and all the trappings of the world. I've mentioned before that I don't recall the mid-'80s well at all and that's because I was trying to make a life for myself. And that was my 'break' with my previous first love, music. I started re-connecting again in the late '80s, but with a new set of heroes. My glam and punk heroes were no more and the world had moved on. I left the true faith behind.

And then, seven years ago, my love of music was re-born and the CDs and gig tickets started to pile up. I rediscovered old heroes who had never really gone away, I'm the one who moved away. But not again. I know who I am now and I hope to stay me for a long time to come. I have met some of my heroes now and I hope to meet more in the future. I *will* buy their next album, I *will* be loyal, in part because it's my job to keep my heroes going, let them know they are loved and respected, and I *will* be there at the next gig. That's my part of the bargain for stealing a small part of my heroes. My tastes are probably set by now and I won't give up my existing heroes, but I will add to them as I discover new and exciting music.

Thank you for a very thoughtful blog, Amanda. I still think back to meeting you after the Alan Cumming show in London over the summer and you getting up off the floor and giving me the biggest, skweeziest hug imaginable after I'd had an awful day. I *will* be at your next London gig. I *will* buy your next record and DVD. I *will* continue to read your blogs as soon as they're posted. And I *will* post the occasional and gratuitous photo of you in my blog (sorry!).

As we all know, Punk Cabaret Is Freedom!