Peaches and Blondes - It's Trannifying!

Sunday saw the grand launch of 'Tranny Hag', the new mini-zine from Dawn Right Nasty, at the Retro Bar. Because we're so close to Halloween the major selling point (other than getting Dawn a Corona beer) was a trio of short horror films by Peaches Christ, the cover star of the magazine and heroine of the movies.

'Season of the Troll' was the first film, with Troll Girl pursuing a vendetta against Peaches and sidekick Martiny ending with lots of blood and bird seed. I particularly liked the scene when Peaches finds her colleagues at the cinema concession stand all murdered and bloody, especially the bloody body stuffed into the popcorn dispenser - well, you never quite know what goes into those things... Martiny saves the day by shooting Troll Girl - or does she? Where's the body?

'A Nightmare on Castro Street' started after a refill of Guinness and nicking more popcorn from other tables. This is a sad tale of Squeaky Blonde's descent into alcoholism and the inevitable murder and mayhem that alcohol provokes. Quite a moral tale really. If you drink too much your hair changes colour, you get the biggest platform boots ever made and your finger nails become sharp enough to stab into the bodies of your enemies and rip out their spleens. It must be true since we saw it on the screen.

'Whatever Happened to Peaches Christ' was the final film, a parody of the film we all know (although I'm not sure I've ever seen it all the way through) but with bigger hair and more make-up. This was probably the most 'serious' of the films and, unfortunately, didn't feature platform boots.

My favourite was 'Castro Street' with Squeaky Blonde stealing the show, a big Goth clumping round in ridiculous boots, pulling faces and murdering people with her purple nails. Everyone needs a Squeaky in their lives (but maybe just not yet...).