'Fings Ain't Wot They Used T'Be' at Union Theatre

This evening Chris took me to see the Lionel Bart musical, 'Fings Ain't Wot They Used T'Be' at the rather bijou Union Theatre. Now, I suspect that everyone over a certain age will have heard the title song (or at least a version of it) sung by Max Bygraves but don't let that put you off.

It's a tale of old Soho in the late 50s, shaking off the past and looking forward to the 60s, a tale of tarts with hearts and goodtime gangsters, of love and violence and happy endings. I have to say that the first half hour or so didn't endear the show to me. Everyone was in their best cock-er-ney mode with lots of shrieking. It felt a bit forced, a bit false, with everyone shouting and acting in over-drive but it settled down and started drawing me in. I didn't expect to, but I liked it!

The theatre isn't that much bigger than my living room but the show had a huge cast and, once I'd got over the exagerated cock-er-ney stuff, I could start identifying the different (and many) performers. The lingo took a while to get used to, with "brass" apparently meaning "whore", an interior decorator who seemed to speak in polari (as all decorators obviously do) and, of course, East End gangster-speak. The brass all wore elaborate underwear and flowing robes, holes in all the right places, bosoms exploding and legs splayed, with the men in suit and tie. That's one of the oddities of the show, in a way, that the sympathy is with the female characters, probably because they transcend time, but the male characters are stuck in the late '50s with mysogonistic and sexist views. It doesn't travel well, but, on the other hand, it's a nice representation of inner city regeneration and re-growth and could easily represent the changes in Soho in the swinging 60s and again in the 90s. There's a lot in there and it depends on how you want to focus it. Soho ain't the same place I first wandered through in the late 70s.

There's a surprisingly large cast for the show and, for some unknown reason, the leading lady, Hannah-Jane Fox, reminded me of Julie Covington. I'm not sure why, but she did. The two actors who I'd single out are the lovely Suzie Chard as a tart with a heart and Hadrian Delacey as the police inspector. Suzie looked like she was going to fall out of her corset and bra at any moment but she made me pay attention to her and want her to escape the tarts life and make it big as she sings. The same with Hadrian who has a good presence and voice and aligns himself to the future.

I enjoyed it. It's rarely performed so if you're even vaguely interested then I'd suggest you get tickets. It's only on for another week or so, so don't waste any time.