Might I Say 'Ouch'? And Yay For Hoodies

I've got an ongoing argument with a slipped disc - most of the time it's fine but every now and then it slips a bit and causes me no end of grief. It's doing it at the moment and has been having fun at my expense for the last few weeks. I have my walking stick to help me get around (it's black with silver stars around the bottom half of the stick) but I find it very tiring using it. The longer I'm on my feet the worse the pain and the slower I walk - I've been passed by various snails and tortoises and by old age pensioners whizzing by. Yes, it is embarrassing.

Hobbling around with a stick has it's advantages - I haven't stood on a train or bus for weeks. It's quite interesting seeing people's responses to someone in difficulty and having a symbol of disability in my hand (ie Mr Stick). People holding doors open for me, letting me move first, giving up seats for me, all of these are good and humane things. Me being me, of course, means I don't always want doors held open for me because it makes me try to hurry up and get through them quickly so that nice people aren't inconvenienced. In reality, hurrying up can cause pain so I'd much rather you let the door close so I can push it open at my own pace. But thank you, nice people.

I was deeply grateful to the young hoodie that stood up so I could sit down on the Tube the other morning going to work. The others in the carriage, mainly in suits (both men and women) didn't move in the slightest. Yay for hoodies is what I say! It's very embarrassing when old folks give me their seats but I'm not proud. Well, not at the moment, anyway.

The selfish gene kicks in sometimes with people being incredibly selfish. They want what they want and that's all that matters. They want to get on that bus or train first and that's exactly what they do. They want to sit down and that's what they'll do even when they're in the seats reserved for disabled people. It's your problem if you're too slow to get that seat first. That's why I say yay for hoodies.

This afternoon I was out on an errand, slowly walking along the pavement, being very careful when crossing roads, letting cars and vans go first so there's no risk. I can't speed up if something heads towards me and suddenly stopping and changing direction physically hurts. So I take it slow and easy, watching out for traffic and other pedestrians, keeping out of harms way.

I started crossing a road with no traffic signalling to turn in or anything. Then, out of nowhere, a people carrier appeared out of the blue, braking suddenly and impatiently waiting to pull out into the main road. The fact that a hobbling figure with a walking stick was trying to cross the road didn't seem to enter the drivers' mind. It was a yuppy mummy with one small child in the back, a huge car with space for half a dozen and obviously in a hurry. I had to stop, slowly turn, and then walk around the thing. Then she just sped off before I'd finished walking round the damn thing. The most annoying thing was that it then meant I missed the bus because of the time it took to walk around her ridiculously big car. I thought harsh language long and hard at her.

I know I must be an annoyance to other people, moving more slowly than they'd want me to and blocking their access sometimes and for that I'm sorry. But what annoys me is the unthinking selfishness of some able-bodied people who will do what they want irrespective of who else might be within their vicinity. Stopping suddenly to avoid someone rushing towards me hurts. Changing direction suddenly also hurts. I can cope with that but I don't need it increased by my trying to avoid you bumping into me.

The result of today's adventure is a slightly sore lower back (which is slightly worrying) and a numb but tingling left foot (which is more worrying). The pain level seems to have passed into numbness. I'll see how it feels in the morning. I'm waiting for an MRI scan so the wise doctors can see what's happening with my spine. That probably won't be for a few weeks yet and won't be the answer, but will be progress.

If you see a doddery bloke with a black walking stick with silver stars around the bottom then please say hello but keep out of my way - I may look slow to you but I'm probably operating at Formula 1 speeds for me.