Monday, 23 February 2009

CD Baby Messiness

I *love* CD Baby. It virtually orgasms every time you have the temerity to buy a CD from it. It sends you messages saying things like 'CD Baby Loves Owen' and, y'know, I *believe*.

I ordered two records from CD Baby today and received the following message:

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Your CDs have been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.

A team of 50 employees inspected your CDs and polished them to make sure they were in the best possible condition before mailing.

Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CDs into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy.

We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of Portland waved "Bon Voyage!" to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, Sunday, February 22nd.

I hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. We sure did. Your picture is on our wall as "Customer of the Year." We're all exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Sigh...

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CD Baby

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Why don't Amazon love me like that? CD Baby can seduce me anytime!

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