'They're Playing Our Song' at The Chocolate Factory

A bank holiday Sunday and what better way than to see a little performed musical at the Menier Chocolate Factory, 'They're Playing Our Song' with Alistair McGowan and Connie Fisher. Well, actually, I can think of many other ways of spending the afternoon.

It got off to a bad start with the noise of an all-dayer open air club next door with the repetitive thump-thump-thump from an unimaginitive DJ. The Choccy Factory called in the police and Southwark Council to try to silence it for the performance since it didn't have a licence but the best they managed was to turn it down a bit my moving some speakers - better than nothing but still intrusive. So the play started late, stopped after the first scene to see if they could be persuaded to turn it down some more, and then continued. We were offered the option of leaving with a refund or a ticket for another performance, but virtually everyone stayed. It must've put the performers off quite a bit but, on the other hand, they're supposed to be professional, so suck it up and get on with it.

It was written by Neil Simon, Marvin Hamlisch and Carole Bayer Sager in the late 70s and then when it's set. And, for me, that sentence encompasses all it's downfalls. It's full of Simon's New York "witty repartee" that isn't really witty, littered with references to psycho-analysts and not very good accents (Connie sounded like a watered down Tyne Daly a la 'Cagney & Lacey'). And the late 70s were evoked by topical references which simply date it now and by the overdone props and awful frocks and wigs.

At one point a long curtain filled the stage as a backdrop, orange and brown circles - as soon as it appeared I was transported back to the '70s thinking of curtains in our house when I was a child except that was the early 70s, not the late 70s of the play. In the late 70s the curtains should've been purple. Because I was puzzling over whether the curtains should've been orange or purple and how large the concentric circles were on my family curtains, I missed an entire song by Connie - couldn't tell you what it was about at all. That's a bad sign.

The over-intrusive props struck again when the scene was in a recording studio in New York and one of the dancers walked on with a copy of 'Sounds' with a full page advert for The Stranglers' single, 'Walk On By' on the back - why on earth would 'Sounds' magazine be in New York? It should've been 'Rolling Stone' or something.

This probably says as much about me as it does about the play and this particular production, but if I'm focusing on props then I'm not focusing on the play or the music or the songs.

I won't bother recounting the story (you've seen it in one form or another anyway in any Neil Simon film) since unless you're a fan of the writers or stars then I won't recommend you go. There was no real sparkle, no engagement (although the thumping music in the background might explain this), no chemistry between the stars and, I'm afraid, I don't think the songs were that good really. Well, if I'm more engaged by a curtain than by one of the songs then you can make up your own mind.

I hate doing a bad review of something I've seen - the actors, musicians, director, etc etc, have all put in a lot of effort to entertain me - but this time I can't put any kind of positive spin on it. Sorry people, but it did nothing for me...