Discs 'n' backs 'n' things

Some of you in the 3D world will know that I'm having problems with my back again.

I've had problems for a while and had another MRI scan in January. I finally got the result at the end of March, just before heading off to New York, and it seems like my disc has slipped again (or wasn't properly dealt with during the last operation) and it's aggravated by scar tissue around the disc. Here's a scan of my insides from last year where you can see the disc. Most slipped discs are pimples from the spinal column, but mine was a golf ball.

It's not yet bad enough to warrant special attention, but it's started to play up, particularly this week. I don't have the sciatic pain, for which I'm thankful, but I've started seizing up which means that the muscles seem to go into spasm from my bum up through the small of my back so that my muscles are rigid. I'm unable to move properly until all the muscles release from spasm, especially in the morning. That takes time. And hurts. It means you walk with the 'slipped disc waddle'. In my case this week, I found I couldn't even stand still since that increases the pressure on the nerves. Fidgeting is good. I suppose the deeper I sleep, the less I move in my sleep and that results in greater and more prolonged spasm. Drat.

I'm not sure what happens next but it feels like I'm near the top of a downward spiral and can almost feel myself start the long, slow, downward trip. Not something I'm looking forward to.

Backs are such awful things when they go wrong. It's different for everyone and we all experience pain in different ways and to differing dgerees. You can't bandage it or take a pill and everything's ok again. I hate talking about a 'bad back' because anyone can have one of those from sleeping awkwardly on the couch one night. I have a slipped disc, not a 'bad back', and that's something different entirely.

Even I've become a bit blase about it and not necessarily taking it seriously. I was in a meeting a few weeks ago when one of my colleagues apologised in advance for needing to fidget during the meeting because she had a slipped disc. I blithely say, that's ok, I've had two operations for my slipped disc and I understand. At the end of the meeting when we got up to leave the room I was shocked to see how badly she was moving and how pain took over her face with every movement. The memories came flooding back and I remembered that that was me before I had my first operation and several times before my second operation. But I'd forgotten. It's so easy to forget the extremes of pain when you no longer suffer.