'OK Father Christmas' by John Otway

I've been bemoaning the lack of new Christmas songs this year and, as if my magic, up pops John Otway with his contribution to the festive season, 'OK Father Christmas' and three other Christmassy songs.



He proves you can be over 60 and still produce loud and raucous guitar music that forces you to move parts of your body you'd rather forget about. These songs mix the Christmas season, winter and his trademarked humour and manic guitar.

'Rocking with the Reindeer' is another song on his 4-track Christmas EP and it's great fun, starting with the words 'Christmas… jumping on a tube train to Piccadilly Circus…' and then slags off the horror of Christmas shopping in London.

Yes, John might have had one hit single 35 years ago but he's still going strong - thank you for the new Christmas music!

'The Wind In The Willows' at The Vaudeville Theatre

This evening we went to see 'The Wind In The Willows' at the Vaudeville Theatre on The Strand, Kenneth Grahame's lovely book made into a stage production by the Royal Opera House. As soon as it started I became 11 years old again, rapt with wonder at seeing Mole, Ratty, Badger and Mr Toad brought to life in front of me. And it snowed!

But hold on, I'm getting ahead of myself. This production was put on a couple of years ago but I didn't get to see it so, when I saw it was opening I had to buy tickets. It's not opera in the slightest, but it tells the tale of the riverbank through dance and narration and it's so easy to follow and so delightful. It opens in Kenneth Grahame's attic with Alan Titchmarsh as Kenneth, the narrator, as he introduces us to his animal friends and the story kicks off.

We learn of the friendship of Mole and Ratty, of their friendship with the exuberant Mr Toad who decides he wants a gypsy caravan (pulled by a rocking horse) until he encounters his first motor car. Uh oh, children, that's a danger! Badger convenes a meeting to discuss what can be done to curb Toad's dangerous driving and Mole is saved from the stoats and weasels in the Wild Wood by Ratty. Mr Toad is arrested and put in prison, escapes and makes his way back to his friends only to find that Toad Hall has been taken over by the stoats and weasels. A battle ensues and Toad and his valiant friends win back Toad Hall, seeing off the nasty stoats and weasels. Phew!

Of course, there's a lot more going on than that. We see the changing of the seasons from lazy summer to bountiful autumn and chilly winter and the first half ends at Christmas with carol singers and snow descending from the ceiling onto the audience. There are lots of little messages in this production about friendship and loyalty, of 'Englishness', of life and living it to the full. In the half-time interval up in the bar the driver of the car ran in asking where his car was to be followed by police checking out leads and then, finally by Mr Toad in the stolen car. He was arrested a couple of feet from me and led away by the police. When the second half opened Mr Toad was in the dock in court being sentenced to 20 years in prison! O no!

I hope you don't mind me saying that I *loved* this production? It was fun, it was frivolous and it was magical by turns. The real surprise was seeing Alan Titchmarsh on stage for almost the whole time. I knew he was narrating but I'd assumed it would be a voice-over track, not that he'd be physically there on stage for almost the whole time. He was the only one who spoke during the whole production and even did some singing and dancing (well, sort of). Alan is a gardener who turned into a TV personality in the '90s and has been building on that since then and he was really excellent as the tweedy narrator. I hope his grandchildren (if he he has any) have seen him up there on that stage. Well done Alan!

If you're in London and have time for some magic in your lives then go along and see this lovely production. You won't be disappointed! O, and they also serve extra large glasses of Shiraz in the upstairs bar if that helps you decide...

'A Christmas Carol' at the Queen Elizabeth Hall

OK, so Christmas festivities started today with giving a Tree a home for Christmas and going to hear a reading of 'A Christmas Carol' at the Queen Elizabeth Hall on the Southbank. I also wore my thick, furry winter hat for the first time so it must be nearly Christmas.

Most years I read 'A Christmas Carol' in the run-up to Christmas and I never get tired of it. Dickens is a master story-teller and this is one of his best, the tale of how Mr Scrooge became the epitome of Christmas spirit. It's not easy but old Ebenezer does it.

We all know the story of Scrooge being visited by the spirits of Christmas past, present and future and how he grows to love Christmas, of Bob Cratchit and Tiny Tim. All classic characters that tell a very touching tale of one man's journey into Christmas and humanity. Yes Ebenezer, that's you.

It's a stage reading - the same as I saw last year - with different actors taking on the characters and reading an abridged version of the story by Rosie Kellagher. Griff Rhys Jones was Dickens/the narrator and Bill Paterson played Scrooge (reprising their roles from last year). Ron Cook played Bob Cratchit and Tim McInnerny played a few roles. It was great fun and surprisingly dramatic given they're all dressed in suits and wotnot rather than costumes. The big screen at the back of the stage featured various period illustrations in black and white but I can't help feeling the atmosphere would've been enhanced with a Christmas Tree or two on stage. Or maybe just some candles?

In any case, it was a really good start to the real run-up to Christmas. The foyer had a small brass band playing carols and everyone was cheerful as we trooped into the hall to take our seats. I'd wandered along the Southbank beforehand, browsing in the Christmas market and the excitement of the colourful magic roundabout and found a huge tree outside the Royal Festival Hall for the Macmillan's cancer charity, a wish tree where you can write wishes and memories of people with cancer and some of them were very touching. This is, I think, the first time I've seen a Tree on the Southbank and it's most welcome.

Welcome to Christmas 2014!

The Human League at Hammersmith

Last weekend I had a date with The Human League at Hammersmith Apollo, the same venue as the now legendary Kate Bush gigs. I never miss a date with the League. I've seen them before at Hammersmith but never from the eighth row so I was very pleased indeed. I've loved the Human League for 35 years and it's always good to see them. They are the epitome of professionalism and always give good show, with fab lights, excellent sounds and, of course, songs that are most fab.

As ever, Phil strode across the stage while Susan and Joanne (aka The Girls) sang at their mic's, arms in the air and bums wiggling (as is The Law) with a three-piece band making some amazing electronic sounds. Can anything be better than that? And lights going off everywhere, atmospheric and exciting, and never knowing where to look next. They have more hits than you can shake a stick at and it's always interesting to see which songs they include as well as those they don't play on each tour.

They were in monochrome again. When the girls wore black Phil wore white and vice versa. I sort of like the idea that they plan their shows down to those details - it's all designed to give us a good time and they never fail to deliver.

They opened with 'Mirror Man' and went straight into 'The Sound of the Crowd', getting us off to a great start with two favourites. We had 'Sky' and 'Night People' from the last album but, other than those, we were given hit after hit and songs that everyone must know. The age profile of the audience suggested to me early on that here we have fans from way back having a Saturday night out.

We had 'Seconds' with the clock ticking on the giant video display, the always excellent 'The Lebanon', 'Life On Your Own' and 'Louise' and, of course, '(Keep Feeling) Fascination'. An instrumental 'Hard Times' gave them a break for a clothes change and they came back with 'Love Action' and 'Tell Me When'.

The final song was 'Don't You Want Me' (of course) with Susan holding out her mic so we can sing 'I still love you' (and we do!). What an amazing song to finish with, one of the biggest hits ever summing them up so perfectly.The Human League created a new way of being pop stars and having pop hits and that song says it all really.

But there was more…

The first encore was 'The Path of Least Resistance' from 'Reproduction' before the girls joined the League, a most unexpected song. The second was 'Human', another unexpected song that I don't think I've seen live before and finishing with the wonderful 'Together In Electric Dreams', Phil's hit with Georgio Moroder.

The Human League are always excellent and always worth seeing. I am very proud of them. They give us love and dancing and what more could we want?

Diabeatnik or not?

I'm quite open about my medical stuff and have even blogged about a small jar of wee I had to take to the doctor's while still warm (I included a photo!). I've felt very gratified when people have left comments thanking me for sharing experiences that they're experiencing or about to experience. I blogged extensively when I discovered by accident that I was diabetic (or diabeatnik as I prefer) in 2006.

This year has been quite awful but I've kept quiet until I knew what was happening. For five months I lived under the cloud of possibly having a brain tumour and went along to the hospital for MRI scans and found out a few weeks ago that I don't have a tumour. Phew!

But today was rather momentous.

Because I live in a country with an excellent health service then I get six monthly consultations with my doctors about my diabetes. I get blood tests and they analyse them and adjust my medication accordingly. I went along this morning expecting to be told off for being bad as usual. That always happens and I brace myself for it. But it didn't happen today. O no.

My latest blood tests indicate that my blood glucose level is 39 in international parlance or 5.7 in UK measurement. The threshold for being diabetic is 6 - if you're 6 you're at risk and if you're 7 you're diabetic and I am 5.7. On that basis, I'm not a diabeatnik! As a result the doctor has reduced my medication which is a good thing.

Of course, the reality is that I am still diabetic - I'll probably need a few readings under 6 before I can really be considered as having controlled my diabetes but it's incredibly positive and shows that it can be done. I need to make sure that my next blood tests keep me under the 6 mark and that's going to be a challenge over Christmas and the winter but I'm going to try.

The message I take from this is that it's possible to control diabetes by diet and exercise and I seem to have done that, at least for this set of blood tests. I'm astonished, but it's happened to me so it might happen to you. Give it a go.

Marianne Faithfull - the Royal Festival Hall

Last night we went to see Marianne Faithfull at the Royal Festival Hall on her 50th anniversary tour. She's broken her left hip and thigh and came on with a walking stick and had a big, sturdy chair to sit on to sing a song and ease the pain every couple of songs. Every movement made me wince in sympathy but she still gave us a two hour set of classic Faithfull songs. This is Marianne's 50th anniversary tour and a mere couple of breakages isn't going to stop her.

I've seen Marianne in many modes over the years. I first saw her in, I think, 2002 when she was in rock chick mode at the Astoria (of sticky carpet fame, now demolished) with a heavy band belting out loud guitar music. The last time I saw her was just her and a guitarist giving a very different take on some of those well known songs.

The first album I bought of Marianne was 'Broken English' bought on musi-cassette in the early '80s. Marianne thought she might be dying while recording that album and wanted to leave a legacy behind her and that's the album that revitalised her career and her art. In the '90s I bought her Island Records anthology but it was after seeing her that first time that I started to properly explore her works. And that included seeing her live whenever possible.

When she first came on she came to the front of the stage and out of the blue gave us her Richard III impression using her walking stick before stepping back to the microphone and opening with a raunchy 'Give My Love To London', singing about Kensington and dancing under the moon in Piccadilly and Pirate Jenny. 'Broken English' was introduced early in the set followed by 'Witches' Song' and the explanation that she was doing a mix of her big songs and the lesser known, lesser performed songs because she thought they were worth listening to. They are indeed.

We were given a '60s Corner' with a lovely version of 'As Tears Go by' (obv) and a 'Junkies Corner'  kicked off with 'Sister Morphine' that morphed into 'Late Victorian Holocaust' from the latest album.  In between the corners we had a rocky version of 'The Price Of Love' because she liked the Everly Brothers and a thumping 'Marathon Kiss' that she explained was written for Emmy Lou Harris but given to her to sing (I always like the refrain of 'Fearless when I'm with you').

I've never understood why people think it's okay to shout out at Marianne during her concerts, especially when she'd said at the start that she only hears through one ear these days, but that didn't stop the shouters. I was emphatically pleased when she put down a shouter who shouted out 'name-dropping again' when she named someone who co-wrote one of her songs and she basically said she couldn't make out what was said and please don't do that since it puts her off. That shut people up for a while but then they started again with random shout-outs.

She took her time explaining the background to 'Mother Wolf' from the new album, which is basically based around a book she read while bed-ridden about women and transposed that to Kipling's 'Jungle Book' where she takes the role of the wolf who fights for and brings up Mowgli. She made it clear in the introduction that she didn't have much time for the modern world, hence for the refrain using  the word 'despise'.

Marianne is always worth seeing live if you can and especially on Saturday night. She is a true artist - doesn't necessarily always get it spot on but always worth a listen. And she's lived the life that gives the right to comment on the rock life. I loved 'Broken English' and 'Ballad of Lucy Jordan', 'Sister Morphine', 'Marathon Kiss' and the fearsome 'Mother Wolf.

After a standing ovation and lots of bows Marianne obliged one last song - she was standing centre-stage with her stick while the band marched off stage so it didn't take a genius to realise they'd come back while she stood there. And it was 'Last Song' written with Damon Albarn, with the refrain 'We saw the green fields turn into homes' which is close to my heart since I've seen it myself. More bows from her and the band and then she was gone, slowly and watching her feet, from the stage.

That was Marianne Faithfull y'know, the original rock chick that became an artist and demonstrated a new way for a woman to be a rockster. She's still creating and we should all be grateful for that. I am.

Streatham and SW16 Cushions

I live in London and I'm proud to say that. We've hosted the Olympics three times, more than any other city in the world, and I was an Ambassador at the last Olympic Games. I like my city and it's full of tourists all year round - I am probably famous in Japan and China for being in so many photos around Westminster Abbey. My city is also *old*, with bits of it being around for a couple of thousand years.

We all live in our own bits of London and my bit has been around since Roman times. St Leonard's church has been there for about 1,000 years and it is the centre of Streatham, literally the village (ham) on the street. The old Roman road to the south coast has been there for 2,000 years and is still the site for the annual vintage car rally from London o Brighton.

Streatham used to be the last over-night coach stop on the route into London in the 18th century until London started to expand. Then it became a commuter suburb on the borders of Surrey. Then it became a part of London with all that entails. It's still a major thoroughfare to the south coast and the traffic is ridiculous but that's the price of living in London.

I like living in Streatham and my house is surrounded by trees that provide a nice screen from the road and its noise. I feel comfortable here. I feel even more comfortable having cushions specific to my location.

E.A. Wates on Micham Lane (around the corner from me) has been around since the 1900s and is still producing great furniture and furnishings. I went in there today to get some new cushions - Ive looked at them in the shop window for a few weeks and decided if I didn't buy them now then I probably never would so I took the initiative.

Meera Syal - 'Up Your Hairy Hole'

We went to see the 'platform' discussion with Meera Syal and Rufus Norris at the National Theatre about the new play, 'Behind The Beautiful Forevers'. Meera is the star (obv) and Rufus directed. It was part interview and part audience Q&A on the stage the play is performed on so it had to over in good time for the play to start. Early on we were asked to our hands up if we'd already seen the play (I put up my hand) or if we were seeing it that night (most other hands went up).

During the interview with Sarfraz Manzoor (who, at point, said that Rufus really needed some media training before he took over as overall Director of the National Theatre) had elicited from Meera that some of the language in the play was a bit fruity, to say the least. The character she plays is quite earthy and not shy with her choice of words. That made it even more funny when Meera was asked about whether the strap line to the play was appropriate.

Meera's response was. 'Well, it's better than 'Up your hairy hole'.'

She then realised what she'd said and clapped her hand to mouth in embarrassment and started apologising and giggling as she realised that most people in the audience wouldn't know it was one of her lines from the play. A classic moment! *That* is how I shall remember Ms Syal from now on!

And this is my photo of Meera from a few years ago when she was interviewed at the Purcell Room on the Southbank.

Go and see 'Behind The Beautiful Forevers' if you can - it's on at the National for a few months yet and is well worth seeing. My bloggie about it is here.

La Soiree at the Spiegeltent, Southbank

On Thursday we went to see circus fit for the 21st century and it was good. And rude. With lots of flesh on display. And laughter. And pingpong balls. And a small red handkerchief.

Yes, we went to see the La Soiree troupe at the Spiegeltent beside the Royal Festival Hall on the Southbank and it's as far from a  'tent' as you can imagine. Acrobats, contortionists, hula-hoop girl, juggling, strong men, pole dancing and who knows what else. And none of it is what you might expect. Patriotic gentlemen in Union Jack underpants and a naked lady from Croydon (via Spain, obv). What on earth is going on here?

Sitting only a couple of yards from the small stage-in-the-round meant we had a great view of the shenanigans and we had variations on traditional circus/cabaret acts as well as cabaret delivered in a totally different way. I cite the Blue Bunny as an example of the latter, a tall middle aged bloke in a blue latex bodysuit skipping round the place in high heels bursting balloons. I *like* Scotty The Blue Bunny (but I'd need to lose some of the tum before trying to emulate him in latex).

Jess Love was great as hula-hoop girl, keeping the hoops going with different parts of her body while she performed acrobatics galore. And she was fun in her joint show with Ursula Martinez and the gender and clothes swapping duo who ended up all but naked. By then, of course, we'd already had the demote teasing from a grey suited Ursula and her little red handkerchief. Each time she performed her disappearing handkerchief trick an item of clothing vanished until she was naked and then she did the trick again… where could the handkerchief possibly be…? I shall never look at a little red handkerchief in the same way again.

I liked David and Fofo with their ping-pong balls flashing between their mouths while they performed amazing acrobatics and another duo, Saulo and Anna, flying round the stage in acrobatic passion with their moving pole to clamber around. Another highlight was the comedic juggling of Marcus Monroe who started by juggling clubs and then switched to knives - ouch! There was also the rather naughty 'sexual gentleman' Asher Treleaven and his risqué tales.

They were all great fun and incredibly entertaining. I sat for most of the time with my mouth open in wonder and a stupid smile on my face - how on earth do they do *that*? and how do they do *that*? and *that's* just not possible… I even had Jonathan Burns throw his underpants at me after he'd taken them off without removing his shorts.

The true highlight was The English Gents in their pinstripe suits and bowler hats getting up to all sorts of strongman antics and acrobatics galore. And yes, it's them on the poster for the show with both gents in their Union Jack pants and Denis Lock holding up Hamish McCann with one arm. It's a mix of a strong man act with impossible acrobatics thrown in for good measure. Might I say 'wow'?

And Hamish came back in a solo act to close the show with his version of 'Singin' In The Rain' and using the lamppost for his very own pole dance, holding himself out horizontally from half way up the pole in an astonish show of strength. To repeat myself, how on earth does he manage to do *that*?

There are other acts that are part of the La Soiree troupe but they don't all come on every night. And even those that do appear have different acts so you're unlikely to see the same show twice. I like that. Because I *am* going back! It was such fun and a great way to spend an evening. This is fabulous circus-cabaret, but not as you've seen it before. 

Paul Smith & Peter Brewis - 'Frozen By Sight'

The new collaboration between Paul Smith (Maximo Park) and Peter Brewis (Field Music) is now out, an album called 'Frozen By Sight'. I pre-ordered the album (obv).

Maximo Park were destined to have me as a fan when I heard the energy and life of their first album and a lot of that is down to Paul's voice and lyrics. I've bought every album since and seen them play live lots.  I'd never heard the term 'A4 print-out' in a pop song until I listened to the Maximos. So, my interest in this album is largely around the words and Paul's voice than Peter's chamber inspired music but it's definitely growing.

This album is as far away from the Maximos as you can get and is far closer to Paul's solo album from four years ago, 'Margins'. Some emphatic percussion and sometimes swirling and sometimes strident strings add the background to Paul's words and then come to the fore to take control of the song. It's different but really works well.

The songs are based on Paul's travels around the world with songs like 'LA Street Cleaner', 'Exiting Hyde Park Towers' and 'Barcelona (At Eye Level)'. With some of the songs it's the observed detail in the words that brings the joy. It's almost like moving from the detail in a Burne-Jones painting to the broad brush of a Monet water lilies painting.

This isn't music to listen to on the tube in the morning going to work but will bring many happy hours listening to it in the evening, relaxing, and finding something new in each song with every listen. Thanks lads!