Wednesday, 8 October 2008

The Daily Mash

What with the world financial system collapsing, environmental disasters and me without hot water or heat since Sunday, it's a sad old time. So I thought I'd share this with you, 'The Daily Mash' that gives a slightly different view of the news.

I quite like the article on today's announcement of bailing out the banks:

BANKS TO LEND YOU YOUR OWN MONEY Print E-mail

THE government is to invest £500bn of your money in British banks so they can lend it back to you with interest.

The historic move is being hailed as a lifeline for the financial system as long as nobody asks too many questions.

Julian Cook, chief economist at Corbett and Barker, said: "The government will give your money to the banks so the banks can start lending you that money, probably at around 7% APR.

"Thanks to all the interest you're paying on your own money, the banks will make billions of pounds again and normality will be restored.

"After a few years of this the government will cash in the bank shares it bought with your money and use the profits to build a huge fucking dome somewhere."

He added: "In case you hadn't already worked it out - the entire global financial system is predicated on the assumption that you're an idiot."

Chancellor Alistair Darling said the decision had been taken in tandem with the banking industry, adding: "They used a lot of dirty words I'd never heard before and one of them had an angry looking dog."

Meanwhile, Emma Bradford, a sales manager from Bath, said: "Why doesn't the government just give my money to me so I can buy stuff from businesses who will then make a profit and put it in a bank?"

But Mr Darling insisted: "Shut up."

Go on, have a chuckle.

Tuesday, 7 October 2008

Amanda Palmer's Crutch

Amanda had her accident in Belfast last week and ended up in plaster and walking with a crutch. A perfect way to start a tour to promote her first solo album, I'm sure you'll agree. But does she let that stop her? Not on your nelly! Here's a great photo by Sandra Wilkes with crutch, plaster cast and Miss Palmer in perfect harmony. And I'm seeing Amanda on Friday.

Michelle Shocked - New Album

She's kept it quiet but it seems like Michelle Shocked has been working on a new album, 'Soul Of My Soul'. You can hear one of the new songs, 'Other People', on Michelle's website and MySpace page. It sounds like she's returned to her more folksie, accoustic stuff with simple melodies and words worth listening to.

I love the photo on her website of the baby with a guitar and the sign that says, 'I love you America but I think we should see other people'.

I'm looking forward to hearing the new record when it's available.

Monday, 6 October 2008

Amanda Palmer - 'Leeds United' Single

Amanda Palmer's first 'single' from 'Who Killed Amanda Palmer' is out now for download on iTunes - 'Leeds United (Edit)'. At 4.00 minutes long it's 0.55 seconds shorter than the album version and 0.34 seconds shorter than the 'lounge' version (both available on iTunes, of course). And it works really well with a radio audience in mind, especially when The Horny Men of Edinburgh kick in with their wild brass half way through. Buy it. Now.


"Who needs love when there's Southern Comfort... Who needs love when there's Dukes of Hazzard..."

I'm looking forward to seeing the video for the song - it was filmed in a theatre at Elephant & Castle and, if I could've been bothered to get out of bed one Sunday morning a month ago, then I could've been in it...

If you want to see the lady herself then scoot along to your favourite ticketing site to see if there are any tickets left for her current tour. I'm seeing her on Friday at Koko and *so* looking forward to it - a show and a 'arf is promised and I'll be there to collect! Keep up to date with developments at Amanda's MySpace.

6 Oct 2008 19:30
Club Academy Manchester, UK
7 Oct 2008 19:30
Thekla Bristol, UK
8 Oct 2008 18:30
Carling Academy Sheffield, UK
10 Oct 2008 20:00
Koko London, UK
12 Oct 2008 21:00
Knaack Klub Berlin, Germany
13 Oct 2008 21:00
Star Club Dresden, Germany
14 Oct 2008 21:00
Karlstorbahnhof Heidelberg, Germany
16 Oct 2008 20:30
Abart Zurich, Switzerland
17 Oct 2008 21:00
Music Drome (fka Transilvania) Milan, Italy
18 Oct 2008 20:00
Komma Wörgl, Austria
20 Oct 2008 19:00
Szene Vienna Vienna, Austria
21 Oct 2008 20:30
59:1 Munich, Germany
23 Oct 2008 20:00
La Boule Noire Paris, France
24 Oct 2008 20:15
Handelsbeurs Ghent, Belgium
26 Oct 2008 19:30
Melkweg Amsterdam, Netherlands
27 Oct 2008 19:30
Tivoli de Helling Utrecht, Netherlands
29 Oct 2008 20:00
13 Tilburg, Netherlands
12 Nov 2008 20:00
Mercy Lounge Nashville, Tennessee
14 Nov 2008 20:00
The Orange Peel Asheville, North Carolina
15 Nov 2008 20:00
Lincoln Theatre Raleigh, North Carolina
16 Nov 2008 20:00
Variety Playhouse Atlanta, Georgia
18 Nov 2008 0:00
9:30 Club Washington, DC, Washington DC
19 Nov 2008 19:30
Toad’s Place New Haven, Connecticut
21 Nov 2008 19:00
Webster Hall New York, New York
22 Nov 2008 20:00
Theatre Of Living Arts Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
24 Nov 2008 19:00
Paradise Rock Club Boston, Massachusetts
25 Nov 2008 19:00
Paradise Rock Club Boston, Massachusetts
29 Nov 2008 19:00
Mr. Small’s Theatre Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
30 Nov 2008 20:00
Mod Club Theatre Toronto, Ontario
2 Dec 2008 20:00
Magic Bag Ferndale, Michigan
3 Dec 2008 18:30
Cabaret Metro Chicago, Illinois
5 Dec 2008 20:00
First Avenue Nightclub Minneapolis, Minnesota
6 Dec 2008 20:00
Bluebird Theatre Denver, Colorado
7 Dec 2008 20:00
Belly Up Apsen, Colorado
8 Dec 2008 19:00
Murray Theatre Murray, Utah
11 Dec 2008 20:00
Showbox Theatre Seattle, Washington
12 Dec 2008 20:00
Wonder Ballroom Portland, Oregon
13 Dec 2008 20:30
Harlow’s Sacramento, California
15 Dec 2008 19:00
Bimbo’s 365 Club San Francisco, California
16 Dec 2008 20:00
Henry Fonda Theatre Los Angeles, California

Saturday, 4 October 2008

Give Us A Goal

Loathe as I am to advertise a Playstation game, but the TV advert for the FIFA09 game uses SLADE's 'Give Us A Goal' as the backing music. I wonder if it'll be re-released? It wasn't a hit back in (I think) '78, but it could be on the back of the game.

In any case, I hope they're getting a lot of money for it.

An Important Announcement

The Buffy Sainte-Marie wires are a-buzz with the news that Buffy's long-awaited new album, 'Running For The Drum' is now available to pre-order on Amazon Canada as is the DVD of the documentary, 'Buffy Sainte-Marie - A Multimedia Life'. Both will be available on 28 October in Canada so, all things being equal, the record should be available here on 27 October if it's a worldwide release..

There's no artwork yet and no details so I'll need to keep checking. 'Running For The Drum' is available as a CD and as a limited edition CD but there's no indication of what the 'extras' are. I'm not going to get too excited until some details start appearing. But after all this time waiting for the record and DVD, the signs are promising!

'Hadrian: Empire & Conflict' at the British Museum

As part of my I-must-do-something-everyday(-ish) regime I visited the British Museum for the first time in an age to see the Hadrian: Empire & Conflict exhibition. There is so much to see at the Museum that it's rather shameful how infrequently I've been over the years. I must put that right.

Now, if I was asked who my favourite Roman emperor was, I'd probably say Hadrian (not that I've been asked that question). He's sort of a local boy done good, not that he ever set foot in this country, but I grew up a few miles from his wall, variously known as Hadrian's Wall or the Roman Wall, that was built across Northumberland and Cumberland to mark the northern edge of the Roman Empire and to keep those pesky Picts and Scots out. I've been on the Wall and visited Roman forts and settlements at Housesteads, Vindalanda and Corstopidum (Corbridge), all good Geordie names - I remember it always being very windy and chilly whenever I visited as a youngster.

They've managed to pack a lot into the exhibition, lots of busts of Hadrian and his people, some nice statues, areas dedicated to his enthusiasm for building and architecture, a miniature of his palace outside Rome (which was huge so the 'miniature' takes up most of the room), a room to his lover Antinous and the cult that sprang up after he died, a small area for his wife (well, they didn't have much of a marriage, really) and the usual collection of coins and small objects. The exhibition is doing really well and was packed, mainly with old women for some reason when I was there, as well as tourists. You exit the exhibition into the shop (of course).

I spent an enjoyable 45 minutes wandering round, dipping in and out and looking at things that caught my eye. I never follow exhibitions round in the 'proper' order, trailing after people listening to the audio tour, I much prefer pretending to be a magpie and waiting for something shiny to home in on.

Of course, the curator had to include some non-Hadrian objects to give a flavour of life and society at the time, like a big corner with a few olive oil jars to demonstrate wealth and trade and, to spice it up a bit, a section on homosexuality since Hadrian was gay (rather a bald statement since sexuality was a lot more blurred back then). And, naturally, the gay bit was about sex with a small silver cup called the Warren Cup (I can think of better names) which drew the crowds of little old women. So I obviously have to show it here...

One thing I liked from the off is that Hadrian had a beard and was, I think, the first emperor to be consistently portrayed with one. That must've given the sculptors something to think about! But it meant that he looked broadly the same throughout his life and therefore quite recognisable. There were a few nice busts of him and some full-length statues in togas with the usual carefully sculpted folds and creases to make them lifelike. There was even a statue of him as an athlete, ie naked, but it looked like they'd just plonked his head on top of a typically toned nude statue so it didn't really work for me.

There were also a few images of Hadrian's Greek lover, Antinous. One of the highlights was an enormous head with elaborate cascades of hair. The well drafted notes accompanying each exhibit pointed out the holes drilled into his hair to attach flowers and fruit to the cold stone and the empty eye sockets that would've been filled with precious stones to make his eyes alive. And, no doubt, the voluptuous lips would be painted red.

The other highlighted image of Antinous was a full length statue of him as Osiris in Egyptian garb. This is a striking statue but the pose and definition of the body screams Roman rather than Egyptian so I found it both irritating and striking at the same time. It's very stylised and I assume it was done by Roman or Greek sculptors rather than Egyptian. He died in Egypt hence the Egyptian imagery (as well as the life after death cult of Osiris).

The final exhibit is a nicely lit bust of the older Hadrian beside one of his short poems anticipating his death. It reads:

Little soul, little wanderer, little charmer
Body's guest and companion

To what places will you set out for now?
To darkling, cold and gloomy ones -

And you won't make your usual jokes.


There are some building works outside the museum which are screened off with big panels showing scenes from the Roman Wall and from his villa and baths. So, this is me pretending to be on the bleak, windswept hills of Northumberland walking Hadrian's Wall like in olden days....

Thursday, 2 October 2008

'Come Dancing' at Stratford East

Tonight Chris treated me to a trip to Stratford to see 'Come Dancing', the new musical by Ray Davies at the Theatre Royal Stratford East. Yes, Ray Davies and (gulp) he was in it as well.

Don't start thinking this is the latest in a band cashing in on musicals by winding a vague story around their hit songs. It's not. With the exception of the title song (which was The Kinks' last hit single in 1983) all the songs are new and pretty damn good too.

This is a new musical with quality songs that eloquently tell a story of Ray's family's life based around the local Palais dancehall in the late '50s, with his parents and older sisters going dancing every Saturday night. Everyone goes dancing on a Saturday night - it's what people do. Survive the mundane world of work and live for the weekend. Meet friends and potential friends, fall in love, marry and, when they're old enough, start bringing the children. But the world changed in the late '50s with the invention of teenagers and rock'n'roll, immigration, building new towns in the countryside, ambitions and hopes for the world to be different. It all makes for a nice backdrop to Ray's story which is partially autobiographical.

The play opens with a blurring of the "fourth wall" (as Chris called it) with tables and chairs replacing the first few rows of the stalls, people on stage dancing and occasionally coming into the stalls to chat. The band is playing and couples are foxtrotting on stage. There might've also been a St Bernard's Waltz in there too. Gradually the couples move to the side and on walks Ray Davies with a guitar and sings 'Tired Of Waiting For You' before starting 'Come Dancing' which he stops half-way to assume his role as the Storyteller and narrator for the play. We're introduced to his family and their friends and the action starts. Ray appears now and then to talk or sing, keeping the story moving along but it's the cast who do the bulk of the singing and dancing with never a dull moment. I won't tell you the story - go and see it for yourself.

OK, I've got to step into my fan-boy shoes for a moment and say, 'wow, that was Ray Davies!'. And he sang! And he was only about 10 feet away from me! *The* Ray Davies. My first ever single was 'Lola' back in 1970 and my second LP album was 'Golden Hour Of The Kinks'. I grew up on his songs but never thought I'd see him. I wonder if he opens with a different Kinks song at every performance before starting the show proper with 'Come Dancing'?

Back to the show and the songs. There's a good range of songs, some are there to take the story forward and others make statements, in different styles - show tunes, rock'n'roll, sultry blues, hard rock and seering ballads, they're all in the mix. I must single out Wendy Mae Brown for an excellent performance and a great voice as the blues singer in a club that exists side by side with the local Palais but they're in different worlds. She has a couple of show-stopping moments powered by Ray's songs. Mind you, all the cast put their all into it. I hope there's a cast recording of this show - it deserves to be recorded. The fact that I couldn't stop yakking about what I'd seen and heard at half time is a good sign.

It's a great show, with fun and laughter, song and dance, poignancy and sadness. Ray has carefully created a show of light and shade, of local communities expanding as the world changes, all based around the local Palais dancehall. Dancehall as metaphor for stability and change at the same time. A well crafted and fully rounded show which is a great night out - so go and see it!

There is a downside. There's always a downside. In this case it's the seats in the stalls which must be the lowest seats in any theatre in London - why on earth are they so close to the floor? But that's a minor niggle in the scheme of things. Go and see the show while you can, you won't regret it!

"... It's About Great Butter"

Pssst... If you want to see John Lydon's advert for butter, click here...