Surprise! I'm still here...

The saga of my slipped disc continues...

To recap, it started back in June 2006 when my old slipped disc played up for longer than usual and, when I eventually went to the doctor, was sent off for an x-ray at St George's Hospital and I discovered I have osteophytes. Into August and I go to the 'back clinic' at Chelsea & Westminster Hospital for the first time to find that the specialist hasn't seen the x-ray so can't really diagnose anything other than to tell me to keep up the good work on losing weight and going to the gym, and come back for a review (luckily, it's a SLADE Day so I'm not too disappointed).

This was followed by a complete relapse on 21 August when total agony ensued, only relieved by magick pills from the doctor and a full SLADE Day. Then back to the 'back clinic' in September to discuss sources and types of pain but no real progress because, as usual, I'm over the worst of the pain following my relapse. Another appointment at the end of October at which nothing happens but the doctor confirms I won't have an MRI scan, followed by a relapse on Christmas Eve and then another follow-up appointment in March. The March appointment was where I'm told the hospital has lost all my records, the consultant tells me I must be in the wrong clinic and then says I need an MRI scan to find out what the problem really is. A totally pointless consultancy which at least resulted in a scan, me bemused and angered by the whole affair but, as usual, I dutifully do as I'm told. I eventually have the scan on 2 May, fat me in a polo mint. And then just yesterday, I get the call to go into hospital for an emergency operation to remove the disc...

So. That brings you up to date. Not a pretty tale. And exacerbated for me by lots of other hospital appointments inbetween for my various other ailments. In a sense, I'm lucky to have access to all this medical treatment so I suppose I should be grateful. These are the magicians and wizards that can heal people and I must do as they say.

Yesterday was a bit fraught with worry. You normally get weeks (if not months) of notice about something like an operation so I'm concerned at the suddenness of it all, no preparations made, no contingencies or arrangements for getting out after an operation. I went to Tooting to buy pyjamas (ended up with substitutes of boxers and tops), get money, get 'fat pants' that won't rub against the wound on release from hospital, sort out things at home on the basis that I'll be away for a few days and won't be very movable when I return, empty the fridge, etc etc. Not much sleep and then into hospital this morning for my 10 o'clock appointment.

Considering I'd had it drummed into me on the phone that I was an emergency I didn't expect to have to sit waiting for 50 minutes to be seen my the specialist. A brief examination (with a student present) and I'm told whatever happens, it's all my choice to which I responded that that was nice but since I'm not a doctor I can't really make an informed choice. If the medical opinion from my case conference on Friday was that I should have an operation then I ought to be listening to their collective wisdom. I ask to see my scan and, believe it or not, they can't find it. Then I'm sent back out to the waiting area to wait for a ward doctor to appear. When she arrived she explained I'd need blood tests, a chest x-ray and an ECG test before the operation that would be at 1.30pm. By now it was about 11.30 and since the clinic dealt with bones it wasn't set up for things like blood tests so they didn't have any of the right equipment or paperwork. Tying a plastic glove around my arm as a tourniquet she couldn't get any blood out of me (I suggested chopping off a finger). Trying the other hand she succeeds and also spills a big drop on my jacket on the floor beside the chair. Then I sit and wait while she took the blood to be tested two floors away at the other end of the hospital.

In the meantime, other nurses come into the cubicle to see if I'd move out so they can see other patients while I point out that the doctor had asked me to stay. She comes back, armed with more forms to fill in since all my medical notes are lost (and not replaced despite going through my medical history in detail on my previous visit). A nurse tells me I have a bed in a ward but it's not ready yet (no indication of when it would be ready). Then I'm sent out to the waiting area again. Then sent for a chest x-ray which, when I return with it the first thing that's said to me is that I've been a long time and they've been waiting for it - so it's my fault I had to wait my turn after two other people for an x-ray? Then I sit waiting... It's all hurry up and then slow down, almost to a complete stop.

It's after 1 o'clock now and all I can think of is that I'm having an operation in half an hour and no-one's doing anything. A few minutes later the head spine surgeon comes out to meet me (he'd arrived a few minutes earlier but I didn't know it was him) who takes me back into a cubicle to talk to me. He told me he'd only seen my MRI scan on Friday and it's the worst he's ever seen without the patient writhing on the floor in agony and if it was a competition for slipped discs then I'd definitely be in gold medal position. Given that he looked to be in his 40s I assume he's seen a lot of discs so that's a little bit scary. He said it was so bad that it could cause irreparable damage to my nerves resulting in permanent disability and that's why he wanted to see me immediately. I ask to see my scan again (I want to see this monster disc) and I'm told I can when they find it but he's only seen it on a computer screen. Then off with the jeans again for an examination (including a finger up my bum). I'm not displaying any obvious symptoms so he says this must all be an incredible shock so maybe the best thing to do is for me to think about it and attend his clinic in two weeks time, no question of waiting lists, if I display any symptoms at all I've got to present myself at Emergency at any time 24/7 and I'll be treated immediately...

By this stage I don't know what to think. I've been told all morning I'm having an emergency operation, I've been telling people so they know I'll be out of circulation for while, I'm supposed to be starting a new job at any time... and suddenly it's not happening. Relief is part of the complex feelings I had rushing round my head, disappointment, frustration and I'm too stunned to say more than, 'oh, ok'. His office will be in touch to make an appointment in his surgery clinic in two weeks time.

I'm stunned as I leave the hospital - why the big change of heart? And after all I've been told and had it drummed into me that I'm an emergency and still am an emergency, why can it suddenly wait another two weeks (or more)? I start worrying - will the next twinge in my back or down my leg be the twinge that makes me permanently disabled because I've left it too long to have an operation? Has my going to the gym been aggravating the disc and making it worse? If I'd had a scan back in August would it all have been caught much earlier and then dealt with before it got to this stage? I don't know. And I still don't know how I feel about it. Firstly they don't get or have lost the original x-ray of my spine, then they lose my entire medical record then they apparently lose the scan over the space of a weekend... Is my next appointment to see how I'm doing or to tell me I'll have an operation the next day? All the questions start flooding in, all the questions I'm too stunned to ask at the time when I'm ushered out of the clinic with words of 'we'll be in touch'. And the whole thing about going to Emergency is fine so long as they can actually find my notes and they include his guarantee of treatment otherwise I'll be treated as someone with back pain who wants a day off work. And, of course, it can only be that Emergency - any other hospital would have no reason to operate at all without going through it's own process of x-rays and scans.

I don't understand. My reason for writing this blog and going back to find earlier entries is to try to help me understand. It hasn't yet, but might help clarify my thinking when I re-read it later. I'm not even sure whether I'm complaining or not, and if I am, what am I complaining about? I spent just under 3.5 hours in a clinic this morning waiting to have an operation I'd not had any time to think about or prepare for, building myself up to it and then suddenly it's all cancelled for no obvious reason. It's a strange mix of feelings - after 9 months of not being listened to and being told losing weight is the answer and suddenly I really do have a back problem that doctors are worried about is, in a strange way, a relief - I haven't been making it up (despite being made to feel that on a few occasions). On the other hand, who wants an operation?

In part, I suppose, it's the loss of control. I lead a comparatively good life, have a reasonably good job where I wield budgets in the hundreds of millions and advise ministers of the Crown at the drop of a hat but when it comes to the witches and wizards of the arcane art of medicine I might as well be a child again. The wizard knows best.

A Strange Sunday

I've had a surprise today. Out of the blue I had a phone call this morning from a consultant at the Chelsea & Westminster Hospital asking me to report to the hospital tomorrow morning to have an operation on my slipped disc. Apparently the state of the disc is so bad that I need an emergency operation and this only came to light after the MRI scan I had a week and a half ago. O dear.

That rather puts all my plans for a new job and a trip to New York to see Buffy into question. I won't find out what's going to happen until I go to hospital tomorrow but, based on my discectomy nearly seven years ago (May 2000, spookily enough) I'm working on the basis of one week in hospital followed by 4-6 weeks of recuperation.

At least that'll keep me quiet on here for a while.

Au revoir!

Maximo Park at The Forum

My second time seeing the lads and they were, again, marvellous. Energy streaming off the stage, Paul and Lukas jumping all over the place, Tom and Archis keeping the backbeat firm and Duncan going off at a tangent on his wild guitar.

The support tonight was The Long Blondes who went on rather a long time. The singer seemed to want to be a Siouxsie clone and the guitarist had 'Super Yob' written on his guitar - I didn't have the heart to tell him that Dave Hill, the original Super Yob, did that 35 years ago. There wasn't really anything there to make me stand up and listen like Art Brut did last night.

But then me lads appeared and blew me away again. The setlist was largely the same as last night but that's not the point. They were on top form again, a good tight live act, loud and proud. This was the last night of the tour so they've earned a bit of fun. Favourite songs were 'Our Velocity', 'The Coast Is Always Changing', 'Books From Boxes', 'Apply Some Pressure' and the magnificent 'Going Missing'. Well, actually, they were all magnificent!

The only downside was the general level of drunkeness at The Forum that wasn't there last night at Shepherd's Bush. Plastic glasses were thrown, idiots body surfed, other idiots barged, young people obviously out of control and still being served by the bar staff. No real evidence of security staff other than at the front of the stage.That spoiled the evening somewhat. At least at Shepherds Bush there were lots of security, all wearing gold coloured polo shirts so they were easy to see.

But the Maximos were great! When is the next tour? Sign me up now!

Live At The Roundhouse

A message from Amanda and Brian:

The Dresden Dolls are pleased to announce their forthcoming DVD, The Dresden Dolls - Live At the Roundhouse, London! The European release date is July 2nd, with the exception of Germany who are releasing it August 3rd.For those of you here in North America, the US/Canadian release date is Tuesday, July 10th. Those of you in Europe, you can currently pre-order the DVD HERE. Please note, this pre-order is for the REGION 2 version of the DVD -- if you live in North America, we suggest you wait the extra week and get your copies here -- Region 2 DVD's will not work on standard American players. We will provide North America (Region 1) presale links as soon as we have them available to us. The tracklist is as follows:

1: Sex Changes
2: Gravity
3: Modern Moonlight
4: Mrs O
5: Backstabber
6: Coin-Operated Boy
7: Two-Headed Boy
8: Mandy Goes To Med School
9: Lonesome Organist Rapes Page Turner
10: Slide
11: The Jeep Song
12: Dirty Business
13: Shores Of California
14: Sing
15: Mein Herr
16: Mad World
17: Girl Anachronism

And that's not all:
* 2 Bonus tracks from the concert
* 26 minute documentary on the creation of the Roundhouse show.

Cor! I'll get my sparklers ready to sparkle along to 'Sing'!

That will make up for not seeing then in June when I'm in New York. Isn't it just typical that the' True Colors Tour' which features the delightful duo plays Radio City Music Hall on 18 June, the same night that Buffy plays...

Maximo Park at Shepherd's Bush

The magnificent Maximo Park played Shepherd's Bush Empire for the first time tonight and I was there to bask in their majestic glory. I walked in, bedraggled from the rain, to witness the place in full lighting and wondered why I'd never thought of the place as small before, but it isn't that big and the stage isn't big either.

I enjoyed the rather odd Art Brut, the support act, that reminded me of a punk version of Ian Dury crossed with John Cooper Clark and Jarvis, loud thrashing punky music with lots of self-referential and ironic lyrics. They were fun! Unfortunately the sound wasn't too good and they just sounded like a blur-noise with the odd lyric floating through. I'd like to see them somewhere smaller with better sound.

And then came the Lords of Maximo. I've awarded them lordship since a few times during the night I wondered to myself whether they'd assumed SLADE's mantle of good-time fun live band. They're certainly that, and Paul's showmanship as lead singer gets better every time I see them.

They opened with 'Graffiti' and closed with the marvellous 'Going Missing' then came on for a two-song encore finishing with 'Limassol'. They played for about 1 hour 15 minutes being wonderful throughout. 'Apply Some Pressure' got the biggest applause of the evening closely followed by 'Our Velocity' (both are wonderful live songs).

They melded old and new songs very well and I was delighted that the audience sang along to the new songs as well as the old, particularly the chorus to 'Girls Who Play Guitars'. I'm very proud of them.

They were relentless, they were fabulous, they were the Lords of Maximo Park!

A Momentous Day

No, not *that* resignation, this blog is all about me me me...

Today I was offered a new job and I've accepted. This is all very sudden and I only found out about the job on Tuesday, spoke to the potential new boss yesterday and was offered it today. I'm quietly chuffed. I desperately need a new job but haven't seen anything I remotely fancied doing until this one. It's still in education but it's about trying to get to parents to engage them in good parenting and education and is a big challenge - as a department we never manage to get to parents so it's a bit of a holy grail. The new work I'll be setting up is a big challenge with big rewards if it works and a big chance of failure. It's not so much the work that's interesting, it's the challenge and that's exactly what I need. After 7 years in the current job (in different incarnations) this is going to be a big wrench but it's a wrench I need.

So, to celebrate, we went to VauxhallVille with it's theme of the Eurovision Song Contest. Now, Eurovision is, of course, awful, but it featured Bearlesque doing various Euro numbers so that was fun. Scales of the Unexpected (a barbershop quartet) actually won and it was obvious that they'd practiced whereas the Bears winged it. At least we got some Viking pole dancing!

The real celebration has just happened. I've booked tickets to see Buffy Sainte-Marie at the Highline Ballroom in New York on 18 June. Well, I don't get many opportunities to see Buffy and it's either see her in New York or at a folk festival in tents in Finland... tough decision and I don't speak Finnish, so Noo Yoik Here I come!

I'm going to start getting excited...

Ooooo er! Out 'n' About

Is it coincidence or planned that two blogger chums (who I'm sure both owe me a pint in the real world) have both blogged about friends not going out enough when invited. Her Right Nastiness and Wee Don Kerr seem to share the same bitch about stay-at-home chums while they go out to watch (how do I say this politely?), um, exhibitions at certain clubs in the wee small hours.

I was quite taken with Dawn's argument about going out to see and do things as enhancing life and day jobs making us all miserable and tired. It's hardly scientific but I'm conscious that I'm walking much better after my week off, less pain and less limping and all I can think is that it's the result of relaxation and less stress. I didn't believe my back doctor at first when he talked about stress causing back pain but I can understand it, with muscles tensing and causing nerves to react. And if going out in the evening helps to reduce stress then it must relieve miscellaneous ailments that result from or are aggrevated by stress.

The other side of the coin is, of course, going out to things that others will enjoy as well. I'm going out on Friday night (and Saturday night, it has to be said) to see the magnificent Maximo Park but how many of my chums are going as well? Hhhmmmmm let me think... None.

And how many of you are seeing Buffy Sainte-Marie in concert on 18 June? O yes, c'mon, tell me, how many? None I bet. Me neither - yet! Buffy is playing her first concert in New York for ten years and I'm so tempted to go over and see her. She's playing at the Highline Ballroom and will, obviously, be excellent. The website doesn't seem to have a seating plan or allocate seat numbers when you book online so I'm not sure - I don't want to go all that way to sit in Row Z behind a pillar - so I've asked an NY chum to scope it out. I was hoping to go to New York later in the year but I don't have a problem with bringing it forward.

Incidentally, Vanguard is issuing a new Buffy record on 12 June in it's 'Visionary' series. I'm assuming it's a compilation but, you never know, there might be some previously unreleased material as 'extras'.

Coincidentally, I've just started reading 'Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee' by Dee Brown about 'how the west was won' from a Native American perspective. It's a book Buffy recommends people read (along with others) and I've finally got round to it. It's a harrowing read, based on official governmental and other archived papers from the 19th century, thoroughly researched and indexed, and makes for very uncomfortable - but compelling - reading.

Still, getting back to the original point, one ought to get out more. When's the next T.Rex gig, guys?

Bank Holiday Blog

My week off work has finished with May Day bank holiday so I have a shortened week back at work. I feel much better for a week off, more relaxed, but two weeks would, of course, be better. What have I done in my week off? Virtually nothing! And that's part of the joy, no pressure to do anything, a total slob-out. And, continuing tradition in bank holiday weather, it persisted down today.

One of my resolutions that I fulfilled was not to wear shoes this week. I managed it despite the changing weather conditions. I like my feet to breathe rather than be encased in various smothering materials. It probably reaches back to my hippy summer of 1976 when I wandered round shoeless before discovering the woes of smashed beer bottles on the pavement. Sandals it is then.

Of course, I've learned a lot about Marc Bolan this week and heard a lot of T.Rex records and today I invested in more. I got the wonderful 'The T.Rex Wax Co. Singles - A's And B's 1972-1977', a double CD with all the T.Rex singles and 'b' sides, from 'Telegram Sam' to 'Celebrate Summer', Marc's last single (with the slightly ominous 'Ride My Wheels' 'b' side). The box set has all the singles but not always the versions that were released. It's nice having them all in one place and I don't have some of the 'b' sides so this is a good addition to the collection. There are some songs I've never heard before, such as the glorious boogie of 'Satisfaction Pony', 'Space Boss' and 'Chrome Sitar' with their wailing falsetto backing vocals.

I've also heard, courtesy of the Buffy wires, that there's to be a new Buffy Sainte-Marie album released in America on 12 June called 'Vanguard Visionaries'. It seems to be one of a series with the same title by different '60s Vanguard artists so I assume it'll be a new compilation. There's no track listing available yet so I'll wait patiently, but it's a little bit exciting anyway!

I've now got Beverley Knight's new album, 'Music City Soul'. It's very different to her last album, 'Affirmation', but it oozes soul and r&b and sounds like she had great fun making it. It's the work of a woman at the peak of her powers with confidence and talent to spare. If this doesn't make her global I don't know what will. Favourite tracks today are 'Every Time You See Me Smile', 'Black Butta' and 'Tell Me I'm Wrong'. It'll be different tomorrow, I think the whole album is outstanding

Chris, knowing my current fascination with Marc Bolan, let me borrow his Gloria Jones CD which includes the album Marc co-wrote and co-produced for her. I didn't even know it was available on CD.

Finger on the Pulse

My finger, as ever, is on the political pulse of the nation. No sooner do I finish a blog about Marc Bolan (high politics in the extreme) than I launch into a blog about our esteemed Home Secretary, John Reid. Today, Dr Reid announced he will stand down at the same time as Blair. Aw, isn't that nice of him to give Brown the chance to get some new blood into the Cabinet?

My claim to fame with Dr Reid is that he likes me. Well, he kept looking at me and smiling when I attended a meeting at the Home Office which he chaired in December last year. I couldn't work out why he kept looking at me. We were sitting round tables without modesty boards and my legs were outstretched. Now, much as I think I might have nice legs (in a certain light and with the curtains drawn) I doubt he was admiring them. What could it have been?

I went on from that meeting to have dinner with colleagues from work and, when I recounted my puzzlement at the meeting, a colleague referred to my socks. It hadn't quite occurred to me that I was wearing 'power socks' (I tend to wear 'power socks' when I'm meeting ministers or do public speaking or interviews or wotnot). These particular socks were decorated with hoops of every known colour (and some unknown colours) around them and would've been plainly seen under the table as my suit trousers rode up slightly in the seated position.

Is there a word for sock connoisseur? If so, Dr Reid must be one.

Marc Bolan

"A one and a two and a bobbley bobbley boo-boo YEAH!"

... opens 'Baby Strange' from 1972, one of my favourite song intros by the glorious Marc Bolan, a song that's playing in the background at the moment. I've finished reading the biography by Mark Peytress and very good it is too. I didn't necessarily want to know some of the contents - I prefer the idol to the reality - but it's a good read and hasn't spoiled by opinion of Marc. Now I need to hear some of his music and type out a few thoughts.

His early solo work, his creation of Tyrannosaurus Rex with Steve Peregrine Took and then the classic version with Mickey Finn that became T.Rex and changed things forever. All of it was Marc, of course, it was always about him.


He could have so easily slipped away with the other hippy, flower children bands and never been heard from again but something happened. He could sell albums of his songs about wizards and mystical lands and sell enough concert tickets to keep going, but nothing big. That much is history and before my time (although I like some of the older Tyrannosaurus Rex songs) but then he wrote 'Ride A White Swan', caught a star and placed it on his forehead...

I'm old enough to remember Marc from that time. I saved up my pocket money and bought 'Hot Love', 'Jeepster', 'Telegram Sam' and 'Children of the Revolution' and taped his other slices of perfect pop off the radio. I watched him on 'Top of the Pops' in his glory. I didn't see him play live but the concert footage on the extras to the 'Born to Boogie' DVD looks great.

SLADE were my gods but Marc has a special place in the pantheon. He re-invigorate pop music in the early '70s just as some of his fans did later in the decade when punk exploded. He opened the door to so many others to have their own moments of greatness. Who else could get away with a line like, "I drive a rolls royce cos it's good for my voice" and, of course, I believed him. Except he couldn't drive, but why spoil the image with mere detail?

He was an icon of incredible potency, the image and the sound all wrapped up in one small bundle. If you grew up in the '70s all you need is to see a photo of his head with that wondrous corkscrew hair and that sums up the era. He was beautiful and he played up to his own image, generating his own cult of worshipful fans. As with others from that time, the legacy hasn't been managed very well with rights to his songs being owned all over the place resulting in dozens of different compilations of dubious quality being released and that dilutes his work.

It's difficult to remember just how big Marc was in his heyday. Is there actually anybody that big these days? Probably not, in part because the world is now different. Ringo Starr and Elton John played with him on 'Born to Boogie' and having a Beatle on your side meant something back then. He had a sparring relationship with David Bowie from the mid-'60s onwards when they were both mods and he played the original guitar solo on 'The Prettiest Star'. David played guitar on Marc's last televison show shortly before he died.

He was just getting his life and career back together when he died, just a couple of weeks before his 30th birthday. Booze and drugs were his downfall in the preceeding years it seems. He toured in 1977 with The Damned in support, presenting himself as the 'godfather of punk' with his newly slimmed down, healthy figure. It's so sad that he died so young but it means his life with all his ups and downs is frozen forever. What would he be doing today? Who knows.

Another great Marc intro has just played, the wonderful war-cry of "T R E X" at the start of 'The Groover'. He throws down the gauntlet at his rivals in those four letters. Pick it up if you dare.